A Long Good Bye

 I am forty-two years old. I am raising elementary and middle school children.   At this time my life is composed of working, carpooling, and care taking.  Care taking is a priviledge and a journey of learning and finding ones self.  Unlike the wedding seasons, births, and kindergarten enterances this phase of life is not entered at a specific time or phase of life.   We enter this as life happens.  I have entered this stage earlier than my peers.   My peers understand that I have an added responsibility. The are respectful to my mother and will often times ask about her. If I leave for any reason they will call and check in on her and help with small tasks.  However, there is a feeling of isolation.  It is hard to explain to people that you are actively greiving the mom you once had and accepting and enjoying the mom you do have.  One thing I pray dilligently for is to find a group of friends and peers that can support ea...

 Over the last year there are many jobs that I am now doing that were "Dad's Jobs."   Dad's jobs are jobs that my dad just did.  I never realized that he did all of them.  In his absences we truly are finding what unseen jobs were his.   Over the last two months I have identified the jobs in which now have transitioned from his to mine. 1. Taxes- Dad did my parents taxes for years upon years. My mom would save an organize the documents and Dad would take care of the rest.  In the last year we have had hiccups of not filing, and then this year finding our deductions were not correct.   What I am learning is that not only does a person's daily life chage, but so does many legal matters.   After being married for almost fifty year deductions were always taken out as a couple.  As a single the deduction would need to change.  This information was new to me and so we begn the navigation of changing her allotment with in th...

Routnie.  Mom loves routine. In the recent weeks I have found that routine is a big part of her life.  Not only is routine apparent in her daily interactions. At this point I make contact with her daily to check in and check in on her day. The conversation is the same everyday.  Today I went to ..., then I ate, after that I had a.   Then we hang up.   There is no two way communication and it is hard to converse about others.   Mom is in her own world.  Each week I know exactly what the week looks like as she does the same thing each week. The routine is predictable, and going off the routine is very difficult for her. She goes to church on certain days, laundry on different days, and appointments on other days.  In these moments I am thankful that she has independence and has the ability to do things on her own. I know this is something that I will miss in the years to come.