Lonely Journey

 I am forty-two years old. I am raising elementary and middle school children.   At this time my life is composed of working, carpooling, and care taking.  Care taking is a priviledge and a journey of learning and finding ones self.  Unlike the wedding seasons, births, and kindergarten enterances this phase of life is not entered at a specific time or phase of life.   We enter this as life happens.  I have entered this stage earlier than my peers.  

My peers understand that I have an added responsibility. The are respectful to my mother and will often times ask about her. If I leave for any reason they will call and check in on her and help with small tasks.  However, there is a feeling of isolation.  It is hard to explain to people that you are actively greiving the mom you once had and accepting and enjoying the mom you do have.  One thing I pray dilligently for is to find a group of friends and peers that can support each other as we all are in the midst of long good-byes.

There is a local program here that address and helps support the entire family when dementia and aging are related. To get in there is a six month waiting period.  So, we wait. In the meantime I focus on mental health and care giver health.  Mental health matters and counseling is a scheduled monthly visit.  It is time for me to accept the challenges, be encouraged, and let go of the things that I can not change.