A Long Good Bye

The sandwich generation is considered those who are raising children, and actively caring for a parent.   At this time time I am one of the many in the sandwich phase.  I will not sugar coat and tell you that it is easy.  It is not easy.  I am raising children to become independent and fly from our home to begin their own home.  On the other hand I am watching my mom end her flight of independence and asking her to trust me as she begins to lose the abilities she once has.  Is this fair?  NOPE!! However, it has given me a platform to teach our kids what it means to care for another selflessly as a family.   We have open discussions about the disease of dementia and what it takes from a person.  What things others need help with and other areas that we need to just smile and chuckle.  So, this has allowed my kids to step up and take a small piece of responsibility with YiaYia.   Each in their own small way. Brynn:    Being the oldest Brynn has the fondest memories of my mom.  She can re

HERO HERO is a pill dispensary that helps us manage Mom's medication.  HERO alerts Mom that it is time to take her pills, and alters me what has been taken or not been taken.  The primary care provider suggested the service.  After multiple phone calls, and hoops we finally got the machine.  After receiving the machine we made our on-line appointment to get the set up started.  As we set up the machine it became apparent that this was a perfect choice for mom.   As we loaded the machine we had to empty pill bottles.  As we emptied pill bottles we found that Mom was not as upfront about the organization of her medication as we thought.  We had to load five different medications and  we found that four of the five pill bottles contained multiple different medications.   😞  As we loaded the pills there was another realization.  It was the realization that Mom could no longer handle her medication independently.   If we would have continued allowing her to handle her medication there

 Mom LOVES Christmas.  She loved spoiling us, and our kids.  I have vivid memories of the tree covered with gifts, and candles at the table as we enjoyed dinner.   This year was different.  As I set up my tree and hung my stockings Mom asked if Santa would fill hers also.  The kids quickly said "YES", and a few days later she dropped off her stocking.  It did not match my decor or my thoughts but we hung it.  I knew this Christmas was going to be different.  It was my job to create the Christmas Magic in the house.     Mom was a gift giver.  She would spend to much, to ensure we all got what we wanted and needed.  This year we transitioned from a gift giver to a gift receiver.  She forgot certain people, and did not quit have people's like's figured out.  We got a few interesting things, and others were not quite as imagined.  That was ok.  You see the gift she gave was her presences in this house.  She came and did not want to leave.  She was grateful for everything

 Dementia. The diagnosis was clear, with many unknowns that are attached to it.  When the diagnosis came there was a sense of relief that there was a name to the symptoms, and in the same breathe fear of the unknown.  The neurologist quickly explained that dementia would be a disease that would come in a stair step method. We would experience certain symptoms and would stay consistent, and then we would then see a decrease.   As an educator I have worked on helping students gain skills and knowledge that would prepare them.  With mom we would be seeing the opposite.  Mom is actively losing skills that she would not regain.  There was a balance between helping, and empowering her to continue to use the skills she has.  I was very unprepared and overwhelmed with the thought of making decisions for my mother.   My brother quickly told me he trusted me 100%, and would allow me to make the decisions.   The trust was comforting, but maddening as it was my responsibility to ensure that she wa