Christmas

 Mom LOVES Christmas.  She loved spoiling us, and our kids.  I have vivid memories of the tree covered with gifts, and candles at the table as we enjoyed dinner.   This year was different.  As I set up my tree and hung my stockings Mom asked if Santa would fill hers also.  The kids quickly said "YES", and a few days later she dropped off her stocking.  It did not match my decor or my thoughts but we hung it.  I knew this Christmas was going to be different.  It was my job to create the Christmas Magic in the house.    

Mom was a gift giver.  She would spend to much, to ensure we all got what we wanted and needed.  This year we transitioned from a gift giver to a gift receiver.  She forgot certain people, and did not quit have people's like's figured out.  We got a few interesting things, and others were not quite as imagined.  That was ok.  You see the gift she gave was her presences in this house.  She came and did not want to leave.  She was grateful for everything we gave her, and loved the food.   She gave our kids the first glimpse of what it is to give to someone the gift of time, energy, and resources who no longer can give all those things back.

 Over the holiday season the kids and I ensured that Christmas was present in our home, but also hers.  The girls spent time setting up her tree, baking with her, wrapping presents, and giving their input on what family members would like.  When I shopped they would pick up some of her favorite things and fill it to the tippy top.  As she came on Christmas with her her Christmas Tree Sweatshirt and an ice cream cake she purchased she was happy to be in our presences.

That evening I received a phone call from my brother he was disappointed in Mom's attempt at Christmas.  He had the time to taken to determine what was received, wanted, and not received.  My heart broke again that evening.  There was a feeling of failure that I had forgotten something or someone.  I should have known.   As I spent the next few days helping fill this void my heart breaks as I can fill the void of things, but I there is so much beauty you are missing.