Dementia. The diagnosis was clear, with many unknowns that are attached to it. When the diagnosis came there was a sense of relief that there was a name to the symptoms, and in the same breathe fear of the unknown. The neurologist quickly explained that dementia would be a disease that would come in a stair step method. We would experience certain symptoms and would stay consistent, and then we would then see a decrease. As an educator I have worked on helping students gain skills and knowledge that would prepare them. With mom we would be seeing the opposite. Mom is actively losing skills that she would not regain. There was a balance between helping, and empowering her to continue to use the skills she has. I was very unprepared and overwhelmed with the thought of making decisions for my mother. My brother quickly told me he trusted me 100%, and would allow me to make the decisions. The trust was comforting, but maddening as it was my responsibility to ensure that she was safe in all areas of her life.
Working with a counselor has been a life line that I continued after my year with Hospice. I continued with a private therapist and she reminded me quickly that I was not alone. That I needed to reach out to those that she surrounded her self over the last few decades. These family friends have begun to be me council. Each person has a unique perspective, and can help me make some hard decisions.
Aunt Vicki- Aunt Vick is my Mom's sister. They are not close in nature and rarely talk. However, she is a nurse and ALWAYS has loved and supported me. Aunt Vicki takes my medical phone calls at anytime. She talks through the hard choices and has the family history.
Mr. Don- I grew up in daycare. Don and his wife helped raise my brother and I. After a divorce he moved to Georgia with his oldest son. He has been a life line as we navigate family dynamics and what it means to now be the family decision maker.
Dave and Dianne- My mom's best friend loves Mom. She and her husband continue to show her love and grace with no return expectation. They look out for my mom in the Summers and always are interested in updates. I can call and laugh, cry, and sometime vent on how hard this is. They visit and I am so grateful for them.
Besties-Tammy and Erin. This is HARD. They are not letting me do hard alone. We laugh about mom together, and they let me cry about it also. When I just can not see the beauty in it they remind me of it. They remind me of who I am and the legacy and I am leaving. They pick up the phone all the time. If I am in a doctor's appointment and am second guessing myself I call. The reassure me that I got this.
Grateful and Blessed. The Lord has given me so so much. Each one of these people gives me the ability to press on. When I drop to the next step I know they will be there with me.
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